Life

Do you know that feeling you get when you watch a movie sometimes? You feel melancholic or actually refilled with a passion for life. Looking back and looking ahead.

It's weird that movies make me feel this way. Basically, it's not real. It can be based on real-life events or be the product of the imagination of a team or a solitary writer. And of course the people who worked on creating the film. And yet, they get the thought machine in my head going. Or the tears rolling or even make my heart skip a beat.

The awesomeness that's Dame Maggie Smith
As I was staring at Dame Maggie Smith in The Second Best Marigold Hotel, I saw how brittle life can be. I'm still not sure if she was simply acting her ass off (which she totally can do) or that she was showing signs of old age. Or maybe both. She appeared vulnerable and makes me feel like I'm getting older. The longer we live, the more we love. Or see pain. We can make someone else feel loved or we can hurt them. We make them cry and/or smile. We gain new contacts, we lose or keep the old ones. The thing is, life is passing by and the longer we live, the more there seems to care about. About people, about life, about things, about our surroundings.

Believe & have Faith
Recently, I put two words on my wall at my new place. 'Believe' and 'Faith'. They may appear quite similar or connected. Which they are because they give me a certain strength. I've not been my optimistic and happy self lately and I feel like I'm searching. I do believe life can be something of a search overall (or should it not be?) but these past few weeks, or maybe even months now, I've taken joy from different things. The things I used to care about or things I didn't know existed. Right now even, I'm enjoying writing this. Putting weird thoughts to words as though they actually matter to the worldwide web.

Take matters in your own hands
I'm starting to see there are many things in life that will remain the same if you don't do anything about it yourself. The coffee machine I've got is standing in the way, and the only way to make room for other things, is to pack the machine and put it away. I'm the only person responsible for the spill on my table or the dirt on my terrace. I throw out the dead flowers and buy the food I want to eat during the coming days. I am responsible for making the money that's coming into my bank account and for how it leaves that same account.

I am responsible for how I perceive life and for how I live it. A few days ago, I passed a quote which I think would kind of sum it up for me now.

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.